The Adventure of the Fresher
It's well recognized by psychologists that the older you become, the faster you perceive time passing. There are various explanations to why this is with the knowledge that from the age of 20 dopamine levels begin to drop being one. All I know is that I find it incredible to think that I began my time at university nine years ago.
Like most other new students, I found the prospect of leaving home to go to uni both exciting and daunting. I think a lot of people put that down to the idea of having to look after yourself and do your own cooking, washing and cleaning. I think thought that the vast majority of people are more than ready by 18 to do that stuff. The thing that was most daunting for me was to be forced into a situation where you must make friends or face complete solitude for several years of your life.
One weekend in September 2010 I was dropped off at my uni halls. My stuff was unloaded, goodbyes were said and my parents drove off leaving me along in an empty building. I hated the first few hours. I wouldn't have internet connection until I'd enrolled the following day and I had pretty much nothing to entertain myself. I devised my own entertainment by standing at a window watching cars approach slowly through the student village and hurtling downstairs to the front door in time for them to pass in the hope that my new housemates would arrive.
By the evening it became clear that no-one was coming that day. Fortunately I had a backup and I look back on this as one of the best decisions I have ever made. Over the proceeding summer I had been using a website where students moving to a university could message each other and basically make friends before arriving. I'd talked with a few people and managed to find one girl who happened to live two doors down from me. That evening I text her and next thing I knew I was introduced to all her housemates- they'd happened to all move in on the same day.
I think my university life would have been nowhere near as pleasant if I hadn't made that contact early. It's impossible to know how things would turn out differently but my housemates and me spent most of our socializing time with the girls from two doors down. Two of them entered relationships with two of my housemates and they were all part of my crazy university family, from having inter-house water fights late at night that resulted in being told off my the campus security guard to mistakenly agreeing to let one of them cut my hair at 3AM.
That night I ended up going out to the student union with a group of strangers and much to my surprise I had an amazing time. The Tinie Tempah song 'Pass Out' had been a big hit that summer and was played that evening. Suddenly it dawned on the collective students that the lines "yeah, yeah and there ain't nobody fresher, Semester to semester, ravin' with the freshers" was approaching and we all bellowed it out in unison. The night ended with myself lying on a grassy patch gazing at the sky in our student village with two girls where we watched a meteor shower and it felt like some cosmic signal that this whole university thing was going to be OK.
The next day the first of my housemates arrived. With perhaps too much enthusiasm I greeted her which was returned with a apathetic response. She was still moving in though so I left her to it but as time passed it became apparent that this was someone who didn't want to interact with me if she could help it. I got the feeling there were other issues going on in her life but she kept them locked in her room along with herself so I was never able to understand them. As much as I've always found socializing and making friends difficult, I recognize that hiding away is the worst thing you can do for your mental health.
It was on days three and four that the rest of my housemates arrived and they were much more willing to talk to me. It's a weird situation being thrown together by the mysterious housing department of the university. Several of them were people I probably wouldn't have approached thinking we could form a friendship but living with them created friendships. In the first week we ended playing charades where a mime for The Godfather was interpreted as that famous film 'The Dead Horse'. It's moments like that when you are sat laughing with a group of people that friendships really form. Another highlight from that first week came after I somehow ended up with a balloon-model roadrunner from the fresher's fayre. Inevitably it began to deflate and we ended up holding a funeral for roadrunner outside our house. We all dressed in dark clothes and buried him in a small hole dug with a spoon. In all likelihood the remains of roadrunner can still be found if you dig in the right place.
The five of us ending up living together for another two years and we had endless ridiculous antics. We were an odd bunch. We'd all ticked the box to say we wanted to live in a quieter area of the student village but none of us were opposed to an occasional drunken night out. A Welsh vegetarian, a Northern law student, a London Muslim, a Norfolk creative writing student and dysfunctional me. On the surface none of had much in common but on the whole it worked and we had the best time together.
I'm sorry to say I let the side down on occasion. There were times when I acted really stupidly and selfishly. When I was feeling a bit low I'd end up shutting myself away in my room for days at a time, pretending I wasn't there. It would have been the simplest thing to just say I wanted some time alone but I think I sought the attention as if it would somehow help my internal pain. The late teenage me was a dick and I'm glad I moved on from being that person.
The week where the first of my housemates left was awful. I was studying a four year course whilst my housemates were all doing three year courses- the thought of being there without them was horrible. I certainly tried to make the most of it as we went out every night for six nights in a row and I drunk a lot. It was essentially a week long bender and I was determined to make this a good time and not face up to the sadness I was feeling. I messed around like I was a child when working with other students on a group presentation, possibly because I was a bit drunk but also because I was trying everything I could to be happy and silly. On the last night the song 'Let Her Go' by Passenger played in the pub we were in and I felt the sadness of the song to my core.
I knew what was coming- just as we'd all arrived from across the country, we would all return to whence we came. I still hear from my housemates from time to time but my once close friends are little more than acquaintances these days due to distance and the struggles of us all trying to earn enough money to live off. I will never forget the amazing time I had and every year seeing new students heading off to begin their new lives brings a pang of jealously that I can't go and do it all again.
Like most other new students, I found the prospect of leaving home to go to uni both exciting and daunting. I think a lot of people put that down to the idea of having to look after yourself and do your own cooking, washing and cleaning. I think thought that the vast majority of people are more than ready by 18 to do that stuff. The thing that was most daunting for me was to be forced into a situation where you must make friends or face complete solitude for several years of your life.
One weekend in September 2010 I was dropped off at my uni halls. My stuff was unloaded, goodbyes were said and my parents drove off leaving me along in an empty building. I hated the first few hours. I wouldn't have internet connection until I'd enrolled the following day and I had pretty much nothing to entertain myself. I devised my own entertainment by standing at a window watching cars approach slowly through the student village and hurtling downstairs to the front door in time for them to pass in the hope that my new housemates would arrive.
By the evening it became clear that no-one was coming that day. Fortunately I had a backup and I look back on this as one of the best decisions I have ever made. Over the proceeding summer I had been using a website where students moving to a university could message each other and basically make friends before arriving. I'd talked with a few people and managed to find one girl who happened to live two doors down from me. That evening I text her and next thing I knew I was introduced to all her housemates- they'd happened to all move in on the same day.
I think my university life would have been nowhere near as pleasant if I hadn't made that contact early. It's impossible to know how things would turn out differently but my housemates and me spent most of our socializing time with the girls from two doors down. Two of them entered relationships with two of my housemates and they were all part of my crazy university family, from having inter-house water fights late at night that resulted in being told off my the campus security guard to mistakenly agreeing to let one of them cut my hair at 3AM.
That night I ended up going out to the student union with a group of strangers and much to my surprise I had an amazing time. The Tinie Tempah song 'Pass Out' had been a big hit that summer and was played that evening. Suddenly it dawned on the collective students that the lines "yeah, yeah and there ain't nobody fresher, Semester to semester, ravin' with the freshers" was approaching and we all bellowed it out in unison. The night ended with myself lying on a grassy patch gazing at the sky in our student village with two girls where we watched a meteor shower and it felt like some cosmic signal that this whole university thing was going to be OK.
The next day the first of my housemates arrived. With perhaps too much enthusiasm I greeted her which was returned with a apathetic response. She was still moving in though so I left her to it but as time passed it became apparent that this was someone who didn't want to interact with me if she could help it. I got the feeling there were other issues going on in her life but she kept them locked in her room along with herself so I was never able to understand them. As much as I've always found socializing and making friends difficult, I recognize that hiding away is the worst thing you can do for your mental health.
It was on days three and four that the rest of my housemates arrived and they were much more willing to talk to me. It's a weird situation being thrown together by the mysterious housing department of the university. Several of them were people I probably wouldn't have approached thinking we could form a friendship but living with them created friendships. In the first week we ended playing charades where a mime for The Godfather was interpreted as that famous film 'The Dead Horse'. It's moments like that when you are sat laughing with a group of people that friendships really form. Another highlight from that first week came after I somehow ended up with a balloon-model roadrunner from the fresher's fayre. Inevitably it began to deflate and we ended up holding a funeral for roadrunner outside our house. We all dressed in dark clothes and buried him in a small hole dug with a spoon. In all likelihood the remains of roadrunner can still be found if you dig in the right place.
The five of us ending up living together for another two years and we had endless ridiculous antics. We were an odd bunch. We'd all ticked the box to say we wanted to live in a quieter area of the student village but none of us were opposed to an occasional drunken night out. A Welsh vegetarian, a Northern law student, a London Muslim, a Norfolk creative writing student and dysfunctional me. On the surface none of had much in common but on the whole it worked and we had the best time together.
I'm sorry to say I let the side down on occasion. There were times when I acted really stupidly and selfishly. When I was feeling a bit low I'd end up shutting myself away in my room for days at a time, pretending I wasn't there. It would have been the simplest thing to just say I wanted some time alone but I think I sought the attention as if it would somehow help my internal pain. The late teenage me was a dick and I'm glad I moved on from being that person.
The week where the first of my housemates left was awful. I was studying a four year course whilst my housemates were all doing three year courses- the thought of being there without them was horrible. I certainly tried to make the most of it as we went out every night for six nights in a row and I drunk a lot. It was essentially a week long bender and I was determined to make this a good time and not face up to the sadness I was feeling. I messed around like I was a child when working with other students on a group presentation, possibly because I was a bit drunk but also because I was trying everything I could to be happy and silly. On the last night the song 'Let Her Go' by Passenger played in the pub we were in and I felt the sadness of the song to my core.
I knew what was coming- just as we'd all arrived from across the country, we would all return to whence we came. I still hear from my housemates from time to time but my once close friends are little more than acquaintances these days due to distance and the struggles of us all trying to earn enough money to live off. I will never forget the amazing time I had and every year seeing new students heading off to begin their new lives brings a pang of jealously that I can't go and do it all again.
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