The Adventure of the Great Reset

In which I reflect and regroup...

I am not going to lie, 2024 has been tough so far. You begin a year with such high hopes and sometimes the year decides to take those high hopes and crush them in the most brutal way. 

I'm currently enjoying the tranquility of the summer holidays and a rest that has perhaps never felt quite so well-earned. Perhaps the best piece of advice I was given during the many training sessions I have had over the last few years is to make the most of the resets in your life. That might be small resets, as small as a few seconds in the middle of the day or they might be bigger resets like six weeks off work. 

Part of this reset has been getting outside. The year so far has not been helped by the endless miserable weather. We always like to joke in the UK that it rains a lot but this year has taken that to the next level. We often think of climate change as meaning we will get hotter weather but it just means that the weather will change and will get more extreme. It has rained and it has rained and it has rained. At least the summer holidays seem to be providing decent weather for the most part.

I am increasingly aware of the importance of spending time outside. It's good to get some vitamin D for a start as I feel I've barely absorbed any for months. Medical studies keep finding that spending time near trees or watching wildlife, even briefly, has a huge benefit on our mental health and probably a positive impact on our physical health too. Human beings evolved to spend most of our time outside and yet for some reason we have chosen to forget about that and shut the outside world out.

I've had a bit of time to catch up on some jobs around the flat. One of the most important was getting a frame for a photo of me and my grandad, who passed away in February. I've been lucky in that I haven't experienced much loss at all in my life and very little in my adult life. I do understand that no loss is easy but losing one of the people I was closest to in the world was tough. 

Technically, the man I have always referred to as my Grandad wasn't actually a blood relation at all. The backstory is quite complicated but he essentially became a father figure to my Dad and a grandfather to my brother and me. This though highlights what a wonderful man he was. He could have kept his distance, not least when his wife was seriously ill, but he chose to embrace us all and make us part of his family. The walls of his flat were full of photos of my brother and me growing up and upon sorting through his possessions, my Dad has discovered hundreds and hundreds of photos. We were constantly going out and having adventures together, from wandering through forests to going to a cafe where my Grandad managed to persuade them to serve a plate of grated cheese as it was the only thing my brother would eat. I can see the joy on my young face and this was reflected back in my Grandad's face too. 

I've spent less time with my other grandparents as I entered my adult life but I saw my Grandad as much as ever, if not more regularly. We were very similar people in many ways. One of the greatest joys of moving into my own flat was being close to my Grandad and regularly turning up to a local coffee shop on a Saturday morning to meet him. By this point he was using a mobility scooter and as he drove up and saw me his face lit up with the most enormous smile. I'm not sure I've ever met someone who had so much love to give and I was lucky to be one of the greatest recipients of it. 

For as long as I can remember, I've done something with my Grandad every Wednesday during the school holidays. Most people obviously stop having school holidays but having gone to university and then working in a school I've always had them. Approaching a Wednesday and knowing that now can't happen is heartbreaking. It's very difficult to comprehend when you've known someone your whole life that they aren't around anymore. The sentimental thing to say is that he is kind of still around in my heart. It's sentimental but there's a truth to it. I can strive to take my Grandad's example and try to spread kindness and love wherever I go. 

This grief has really only been a small part of the nightmare that has been the last few months. I had a period towards the end of last year where I really thought for perhaps the first time 'you know what, I've got my shit together'. 2024 has certainly made me question that feeling but I've also had a sense that despite the challenges that have been thrown at me I am equipped to deal with them. My mental health has certainly taken a battering but I can recognise the personal growth that has given me the strength to get through it all. 

People outside the education industry like to criticize the amount of holidays teachers receive. I could write a long piece on this but one of the most important things is that for most teachers they are absolutely necessary. I found the first week of the holidays quite difficult- it was the first time I had really stopped for months and suddenly all the stress and anxiety that I'd been containing simply by being really busy hit me hard. I'm gradually moving on but I know it will require pretty much the whole summer holidays for me to reset and recover. 

The great joy of this holiday though has been the acquisition of a kitten (any rogue letters that appear in this post will be from him walking over the keyboard). I am planning to try and write more regularly here again, going back to my every-other-week schedule, so next time I'll regale you with the joys and chaos that introducing a kitten to my life has had.