The Adventure of the Covid Isolation

Fighting Covid was tough but getting over it was probably tougher. 

For the first few days after testing positive I felt ill and my body was facing an unpleasant battle against the nastiest virus it had ever come across. Then the main symptoms began to dwindle away and I sort of thought 'well, that could have been worse'. The problem was, it didn't end there. 

Obviously one of the biggest issues is that having Covid means you have to self-isolate for ten days. When you are feeling really ill this isn't a great issue because you have no desire to leave the house anyway. But once you start feeling better it's pretty unpleasant. Of course I totally understand that I have been infectious and that I could spread this disease if I broke the rules and headed out. That did not however mean that I in anyway enjoyed being under house arrest. 

We've all been through lockdowns and have spent much more time indoors than we would normally would during the pandemic but this felt different. For a start, there is no opportunity to get out of the house for daily exercise which kept me sane during the first pandemic. During lockdown there was a feeling that we're all in this together whereas this time I was alone. So alone. It's hard to describe what not seeing another human being for ten days is like. It felt like part of me was taken away. Sure, I've had conversations over Whatsapp and on the phone and stuff but it is very much not the same. 

How do you fill ten whole days in a one bedroom flat? This is a question I have struggled to answer. I have never watched so many hours of film and TV as I have the past week. But there's only so much time you can spend watching a screen, or reading a book or doing any one thing. Inevitably I have found myself scrolling aimlessly on social media but that has only made my feelings of isolation grow. This week is half term and given virtually everyone I know works in education my social media feeds are full of families enjoying Autumn walks, picking pumpkins, attending weddings and going on holidays. I just longed for something, anything to break up the day. A pigeon flew into my window one afternoon and made me jump and actually it was so lovely to be able to feel something. 

It doesn't help that my sense of smell and taste remains absent. At first this was just a bit weird but after a while it becomes unpleasant. I haven't enjoyed a meal now for over two weeks. It's awful putting something in your mouth and being able to sense if it's hot or cold and get some level of texture but getting absolutely no feedback from your taste buds whatsoever. Some foods have become inedible to me. I tried to ate a banana and discovered for the first time how disgusting the texture of the yellow fruit is without the familiar banana-y taste that goes along with it. When you're stuck inside it feels like meals should be one of the things to look forward to but even they have become as plain and lifeless as everything else in my life over the last week. 

I am not quite sure what the long-term effects of having Covid are. I seem to be suffering from a slight memory loss. Apparently the brain function of about one in three people who have Covid is affected for a while and this is more likely if they lose their sense of smell as it means the infection has reached the nerves in your head. On the whole, my brain is fairly close to normal (well, as normal as it ever has been) but it's not quite functioning as well as it did before. I'm usually quite good with names but there have been a few occasions where I have just been utterly unable to recall a name, which is really disconcerting. In general there's just a sense of having a brain fog. It's comparable to a bike with something stuck in the wheel- the wheel still turns and the bike still works but every now and then there's some sort of jam and it requires extra exertion to get the result you want. 

Over time, I know my sense of smell and taste will return and my brain will begin to clear though I have no idea how long this will take. The latter is not helped by the lack of stimulation that being in quarantine brings.

My isolation period is now over though I felt unexpectedly ambivalent about leaving the house. I felt a strange sense of intrepidation as I prepared to re-enter the world. I hadn't worn a pair of shoes for so long and inexplicably struggled with locking the front door from the outside. It kind of felt like there ought to be balloons and people setting off party poppers but no, the world had carried on without me. I was keen to get some fresh air and timed it perfectly to enjoy a sunny afternoon, though the air didn't feel that fresh given I couldn't smell it. The world felt odd without any smell. 

After a few minutes I saw a rainbow in the distance which felt like an appropriate metaphor for how I was feeling- the rain was over and the sun had come out. I found walking much harder than I'd anticipated and realised my full recovery is going to take a little while. My lungs were working really hard and I found myself yawning regularly as my body did everything it could to get the oxygen it needed. At the top of a hill I found I had no choice but to sit down and had to resist having a lie down on the bench. It's clear that my body is still feeling the effects of the infection and will take some time to get back to normal. 

I definitely feel changed and wonder if every person who has had this disease feels the same. There's partly a sense of relief, that after nearly two years of worrying about Covid in the back of my mind I've got through it. My body is now full of antibodies which should see me safely through the winter and beyond. Times like this really bring out the people who care, with people checking how I am and offering to help bring food or anything else I need. Many of these people came as no surprise though some were less obvious candidates for sending wishes and assistance. I find it deeply reassuring to know who to turn to if I really need help and who really cares about me, something which I wouldn't have discovered without this experience.