The Dyspraxic Alphabet

This week is Dyspraxia Awareness Week 2020 and this year I came up with an idea for a dyspraxic alphabet. I asked the dyspraxia community online for some inspiration and the result is a collection of things which I think sum up what it's like to be dyspraxic really well. Obviously, experiences vary and no two people are the same so some things on the list may reflect more people than others. I can also only write my own personal experiences so other people may or may not feel the same way about these things.

Auditory Processing- Though it's easy to perceive dyspraxia as simply a condition that makes you clumsy, really it's all to do with how the brain processes information. Auditory processing is something I can find difficult and I often find myself anticipating a question and answering it quickly, only to find I've wrongly anticipated and have said something really odd. The alternative is an uncomfortable pause which feels like it lasts forever as my brain tries to process what someone has said and then formulate an appropriate response.

Balls- When you have difficulty with your motor skills, ball sports are a daunting prospect. I've always been able to throw and catch reasonably well but those skills alone aren't enough to master any sport really. I'm rubbish at hitting with a bat or racquet and trying to control a ball with my feet is nigh on impossible. This caused issues for me growing up in the UK where virtually every boy was obsessed with football and I hated it and felt like a social outcast because of it. When I did play during PE lessons I'd tend to be the goalkeeper- if I was lucky my team was good and I wouldn't have to do much but at the very least being in goal basically just means getting in the way of the ball, which I could manage.

Co-Morbidity- Many people with dyspraxia also have linked conditions like dyslexia, autism, or ADHD. There doesn't really seem to be a set pattern but it seems that if you have one neurodivergent condition the chances you have another are quite high. I've begun to wonder recently if I might have ADD (attention deficit disorder) too given that many of the traits match me. At the end of the day, I don't think it matters that much, I just know that my brain works differently to most other people's.

Doors- I hate doors. Probably around half the time I go through a door I bump into either the wall or the door itself. In shops, I always struggle to know whether I need to push or pull the door. Then there are locks, which I often find too fiddly. If I come across a new lock it's not uncommon that I'll be convinced I've got the wrong key before someone else will take the key and casually open the lock as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

Empathy- One of the big positive traits that come alongside dyspraxia is empathy, the ability to understand the feelings of others. Working in education I think it's a really useful skill to have. 

Fine Motor Skills- This is probably the thing I find most difficult and could also stand for 'fiddly'. If something is small and delicate I know I'm going to have trouble with it- threading a needle, buttons, replacing batteries etc really frustrate me and I regularly find myself using colorful language towards small inanimate objects.

Gait- Gait means "a person's manner of walking" and I find that mine is probably best described as "awkward". I don't really have any balance or rhythm when walking, it's just my brain trying it's best to tell my legs what to do, often doing so poorly leading me to inexplicably trip over my own feet.

Hand-eye co-ordination- This involved the simultaneous use of hands and eyes to do activities. I think that generally the words 'dyspraxia' and 'simultaneous' are not well matched. Again, it's the processing thing. Dyspraxic brains find it hard to process the information the eyes are sending it and quickly guide the hands to do the right thing. 

Individuality- Every human being is unique and therefore every human being with dyspraxia is unique too. My dyspraxia is part of what makes me who I am and both the good traits and the bad ones are part of that.

Jumping- Essentially this is here because 'J' is a difficult letter to fill but it's true that jumping is something that doesn't come naturally to many people with dyspraxia. In particular, I'm thinking of jumping over a skipping rope, something which our school PE lessons seemed to be full of. I remember feeling a huge sense of achievement when I managed to jump over the rope two times successfully even though there were people nearby who never messed up at all.

Kindness- Kindness can often feel lacking in the world generally and is something that should be valued far more than it seems to be. People with dyspraxia may need more kindness than many to provide reasonable adjustments and a bit of patience to make their lives more comfortable.

Laces- I hate shoelaces. I feel enormous shame growing up as I simply couldn't do despite being constantly shown. People couldn't understand that just because they'd shown me how to do it that I couldn't simply copy them and do it myself. As I got older it became more of an issue as slip-on or velcro shoes became less readily available in adult sizes. I was about seventeen or eighteen before I finally learned to tie laces but even now I'm rubbish at it and they come undone all the time. I have a pair of Skechers which are slip-on and therefore one of the best pairs of shoes I've ever owned.

Mental Health- Many people with dyspraxia have difficulties with their mental health at one time or another. There are myriad reasons for this. I think one is that dyspraxia can be quite isolating- not taking part in sports removes an important social outlet from your life and things like auditory processing can cause making friendships to be challenging. Another can be to do with the way dyspraxic brains process information, often (in my case at least) reliving moments and conversations long after they've happened and this can quite difficult to manage. 

Nervousness- A lot of us with dyspraxia suffer from general anxiety about certain situations. If I've somehow got to do something delicate I can be quite worked up about it. The worst if I've had to park in a fairly narrow space because I get really anxious about pulling away from it without hitting another car and it can be hard just to enjoy what I'm doing because that's always at the back of my mind.

Outdated Views- Whilst the general view of many special needs have moved on in recent years, I don't think the same can be said for dyspraxia. For a start, most people haven't even heard of it. Those that have generally think it's simply about being clumsy and as I've mentioned, it's really about the way the brain process information- being clumsy is just one outcome of that. There's also a view that it's something you grow out of (this is even held by many professionals) and that simply isn't the case. You can learn skills and ways of coping by dyspraxia is a lifelong condition. 

Penmanship- Learning how to write can be challenging for many children but for those of us with dyspraxia learning how to correctly grip a writing implement and write clearly was quite difficult. In my school, you'd graduate to being allowed to use a pen once you'd been able to prove that your writing was legible. I watched as virtually every other student in the class was awarded their pen whilst I remained scribbling in pencil. These days my writing isn't bad but I find that if it needs to be legible I can only write quite slowly. 

Quirky- People with dyspraxia have unique ways of navigating the world which means we can be fun and interesting people. 

Riding a Bike- This is one of the classic things that people with dyspraxia find really hard. It can be awful. I remember the frustration as I tried to balance on my bike and kept falling off repeatedly. Hanging out with your mates on your bike was a right of passage in my area but it's something I largely missed out on because I couldn't really ride a bike until I was a teenager. Even now it's not something that comes naturally to me and I find I can't let go of the handlebars with my right hand without nearly falling off- this means if I go out on my bike I try to plan a route that mostly involves only having to signal left turns!

Spills- When you're clumsy, you find yourself spilling things a lot. I'm sure I get through more kitchen towels that the average person because of this and it's unusual that I can wear a T-shirt for a day without spilling some sort of food, drink, or other substance on it.

Ties- Thankfully ties are falling out of fashion somewhat and I have chosen a profession where I never have to wear one. Ties were part of my school uniform though and it took me a long time to learn how to tie one properly. It's a skill I've somehow lost since leaving school and on the rare occasion where I need to wear one like a wedding, it's a real challenge to get it looking presentable. 

Undiagnosed- Many people with dyspraxia, including myself, don't have an official diagnosis. This is really frustrating. If you look through the traits of dyspraxia I match them very closely, especially in childhood. Unfortunately, no-one had the knowledge of dyspraxia to recognise it was affecting me and so I reached adulthood without even realising I had it. The only way to get a diagnosis now would be to pay for one privately, which I can't afford, as in most areas you can't get one on the NHS. I've managed to get by but I'm well aware that many people have more difficulties than me and a diagnosis could be key in getting them the support they need. It's also important mentally as it puts a name to the difficulties you've been having and makes it feel less like it's your own fault.

Verbal- Dyspraxia can really affect the way we speak. I don't have too many issues with this as an adult but as a child, I found it hard to pronounce certain sounds and had to attend regular speech therapy sessions in order to learn how to speak like a normal person. One unusual consequence is the fact I can now say the tongue twister "Lucy likes lemon lollies least" really easily because I practiced it so much!

Whistling- Just another everyday thing that I can't really do. If I'm lucky I can make a sound but there is no hope of me whistling a tune!

X-Rays- Being clumsy can often lead to the need for X-rays. I've required stitches occasionally but I've somehow never broken a bone. I did however once require an x-ray when I bumped into a fire extinguisher and it fell on my foot.

Y-Chromosome- This is a dodgy link but there's an important point to be made here. The diagnosis of dyspraxia is generally 3:1 boys to girls. It certainly appears that boys are more likely to be dyspraxic than girls but research suggests that the actual ratio may be more like 2:1. Whilst many people of all genders are failing to get dyspraxia diagnoses, it's an even worse problem for girls, which really shouldn't be the case. (More info on this and the source of the stats here).

Zips- Finding a 'Z' could have been difficult but this seemed an obvious choice. Zips can be really fiddly and we've already established that this is not good for many people with dyspraxia. I tend to avoid buying clothing with zips on as much as I can but some things just have to have a zip. I also regularly end up pulling the toggle of the zip leaving the item nigh on useless.

(With thanks to, in no particular order,: Steph Taylor, Keli Anne Hunter, Shirley Jones, Angela May, Vanessa Stagg, Elizabeth Hofmann, Fran Talbot, Nicole Wilson, Amanda Dawson van Zyl, Meilani Johnson, Penny Ehrhardt, Claire Tregoning, Grace Bee and everyone who suggested ideas.)