Star Baker
We need to talk about The Great British Bake Off. This year's winner was crowned this week and everyone seems to have an opinion on them. Obviously there will be spoilers but I'm assuming if you've come this far then you are ready for them.
Rahul Mandal is the winner of the 2018 series. He is an amazing baker who got more infamous Hollywood handshakes than anyone else and won "Star Baker" two times. Some people feel he should have been eliminated in the latter stages of the competition where he had a few slip-ups but really only Prue and Paul know what the right decision was.
I was surprised to discover some people don't like Rahul- I've heard them say things like "he should be feeling more confident now" to the extent that some people even believe he was pretending to be shy. This comes from people who have never really suffered major issues with their self-confidence. I have and I know exactly how it goes. It doesn't matter how many times someone tries to tell you that you have skills, you can't accept it.
You may have heard of "imposter syndrome". According to Wikipedia "imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a 'fraud'. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experience this phenomenon remain convinced they are frauds and do not deserve all they have achieved. Individuals with impostorism incorrectly attribute their success to luck".
I suspect Rahul felt like that during Bake Off. I've been there and regularly go through such phases. The constant feeling that any minute someone is going to enter the room and tell you to leave and never return. When failure comes it feels like you got what you deserved a long time ago. I have immense respect that despite this Rahul entered Bake Off and managed to carry on all the way through. It's actually inspirational to see someone with confidence issues manage to triumph at something they are good at.
I hope Rahul is feeling more confident now. Whilst it was endearing to watch him struggle through, I'm well aware how unhealthy living like that is. How you can spend all day thinking you're useless before going home and then reflecting on the specific ways you have been useless over the last 24 hours. How you go to bed still reflecting on this and hoping to get through the challenges of the next day without anyone discovering you are a fraud. Every interaction is awkward as you try to both hide in the background and try to prove you are a valuable inclusion to the situation to no-one but yourself. It eats away at you, the fear of being found out seemingly continuously increasing until it threatens to overwhelm you.
Another thing I love about Rahul is the fact that he chose not to hide his lack of confidence. All the way through the competition he was true to himself and answered everything he was asked honestly. This is something I find really difficult, rarely actually expressing my emotions properly. When I was struggling with my final teaching placement at uni I was criticised about appearing not to care. My external expression was plain yet inside I had never cared about anything more and was a boiling pot of sadness and anger. People rarely truly know how I feel and I know it makes forming a personal relationship with me tricky. Being able to express your emotion is such an important thing and it's great that Rahul is not embarrassed to do so.
I wrote a couple of weeks ago about society's expectations of men and Rahul does not fit them. I mean that as the greatest of compliments. He's a man who won a baking competition, a pursuit seen by many as feminine despite it clearly having no link to gender whatsoever. In a world where women are intimidated by men thanks to generations of abuse and exploitation, surely no-one is intimidated by Rahul. Shyness, a lack of self-confidence and the need to apologize for absolutely everything is not the signs of a sexual predator. Comedian John Robins sums it up well: "How soon would the battles of #MeToo and #TimesUp be won if every man, from this day forth, apologised at least three times during every interaction with anyone?"
I'm not saying every man should try to be exactly like Rahul because society needs a spectrum of people but I think many could learn from my new mantra "be more Rahul". For those of us that are shy and suffer from issues of self-confidence, Rahul is proof that if you battle through eventually you will be successful.
Rahul Mandal is the winner of the 2018 series. He is an amazing baker who got more infamous Hollywood handshakes than anyone else and won "Star Baker" two times. Some people feel he should have been eliminated in the latter stages of the competition where he had a few slip-ups but really only Prue and Paul know what the right decision was.
I was surprised to discover some people don't like Rahul- I've heard them say things like "he should be feeling more confident now" to the extent that some people even believe he was pretending to be shy. This comes from people who have never really suffered major issues with their self-confidence. I have and I know exactly how it goes. It doesn't matter how many times someone tries to tell you that you have skills, you can't accept it.
You may have heard of "imposter syndrome". According to Wikipedia "imposter syndrome is a psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a 'fraud'. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experience this phenomenon remain convinced they are frauds and do not deserve all they have achieved. Individuals with impostorism incorrectly attribute their success to luck".
I suspect Rahul felt like that during Bake Off. I've been there and regularly go through such phases. The constant feeling that any minute someone is going to enter the room and tell you to leave and never return. When failure comes it feels like you got what you deserved a long time ago. I have immense respect that despite this Rahul entered Bake Off and managed to carry on all the way through. It's actually inspirational to see someone with confidence issues manage to triumph at something they are good at.
I hope Rahul is feeling more confident now. Whilst it was endearing to watch him struggle through, I'm well aware how unhealthy living like that is. How you can spend all day thinking you're useless before going home and then reflecting on the specific ways you have been useless over the last 24 hours. How you go to bed still reflecting on this and hoping to get through the challenges of the next day without anyone discovering you are a fraud. Every interaction is awkward as you try to both hide in the background and try to prove you are a valuable inclusion to the situation to no-one but yourself. It eats away at you, the fear of being found out seemingly continuously increasing until it threatens to overwhelm you.
Another thing I love about Rahul is the fact that he chose not to hide his lack of confidence. All the way through the competition he was true to himself and answered everything he was asked honestly. This is something I find really difficult, rarely actually expressing my emotions properly. When I was struggling with my final teaching placement at uni I was criticised about appearing not to care. My external expression was plain yet inside I had never cared about anything more and was a boiling pot of sadness and anger. People rarely truly know how I feel and I know it makes forming a personal relationship with me tricky. Being able to express your emotion is such an important thing and it's great that Rahul is not embarrassed to do so.
I wrote a couple of weeks ago about society's expectations of men and Rahul does not fit them. I mean that as the greatest of compliments. He's a man who won a baking competition, a pursuit seen by many as feminine despite it clearly having no link to gender whatsoever. In a world where women are intimidated by men thanks to generations of abuse and exploitation, surely no-one is intimidated by Rahul. Shyness, a lack of self-confidence and the need to apologize for absolutely everything is not the signs of a sexual predator. Comedian John Robins sums it up well: "How soon would the battles of #MeToo and #TimesUp be won if every man, from this day forth, apologised at least three times during every interaction with anyone?"
I'm not saying every man should try to be exactly like Rahul because society needs a spectrum of people but I think many could learn from my new mantra "be more Rahul". For those of us that are shy and suffer from issues of self-confidence, Rahul is proof that if you battle through eventually you will be successful.
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