Going Stale

I must open this blog post by apologising about the quality of it. The trouble is I have what I like to describe as ‘blogger’s block’, which here means that I have been desperate to write a blog post but am struggling to think of anything to say.
This is the fault of my current lifestyle. Suddenly my life has become boring. Work isn’t new to me anymore and one day is pretty much like another. For the most part I am enjoying my job but suddenly the good days feel just ‘good’ rather than ‘amazing’ and the number of not so good days seems to have increased.
lucy-boring
There’s a Peanuts picture for every feeling. Lucy captures my current mood excellently here.
I’ve reached a point where I am not very motivated to work. The only reason anyone really works is to earn money, to live off or to spend on something they enjoy. The thing is, I don’t really need any money at the moment. I’m living with my parents and although I pay them a little for my keep it is not very much at all. My spending beyond that is virtually non-existent.
I know really that the money I am making is for my life ahead. The trouble is, what life ahead? In theory it’s building up to help fund buying a house and supporting a family. If that ever happens it is extremely unlikely to be within the next five years and not exactly likely to be within the next ten. It’s very hard to be motivated to earn money to spend on a theoretical future life.
Of course you might say I should spend my pay, or at least some of it, on enjoying myself now. I am inclined to agree with you but I simply aren’t doing that. Working full-time means I don’t really have the time nor the energy to go out anywhere. I might do the odd thing at the weekend but after a busy week I want to spend that time relaxing. It’s not like I have friends to go out with and spend money, not really. It is a stark fact that since I left university in May I have only seen two friends and one of those I only saw once.
I was on quite the high when I started work and I thought my life was really improving. Things are better than they were six months ago, I don’t wake up every day feeling miserable anymore. But life has gone stale. I don’t mean this in a suicidal way but I truly have nothing to live for. Life ticks away day by day and I wonder what it is all for.
OK, so no one really knows what life is for. But I think the majority of people have a reason for being. For most I suspect that’s there loved ones, in whatever form they may take. Religion probably fills the void for many and for some people it’s the difference they are making the world. And I haven’t got any of those things.
A lack of religion doesn’t help all this. The whole point of religion is to explain all the difficult things of life and for many religion saves them from themselves. I am an atheist and it astounds me that people genuinely believe in gods and prophets. The whole idea makes no sense to me, other than as a system of guiding your life. And that’s sort of what I need, a religion without the religious content. 
Hmm, I think I got distracted there somewhere but you must have got the picture by now. My life is boring and stale. Day after day after day after day passes and nothing changes. How on Earth does one escape this rut? Is this it for ever now, a lifetime of nothingness? Answers on a postcard please.
I should point out in case anyone is worrying that I am basically fine. Bored, but fine. Life isn’t bad, just dull.
“Human life on Earth… mortgage repayments, the 9-to-5, a nagging sense of spiritual emptiness.”- The Doctor in the Doctor Who episode “Closing Time”

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