The Adventures of Dysfunctional Dan

I often find myself in something of an internal conflict. On the one hand I can be an adult with responsibilities yet at the same time I can be a big kid finding enjoyment from something childish. This week was a prime example of that conflict. A few weeks ago I was caught breaking the speed limit by a mobile speed camera. Now whilst I can't argue with the fact I was technically breaking the law, I can complain that the law is ineffective. For me, speed limits are far too rigid. I was caught at ten to eight on a Sunday morning doing sixty miles an hour in a fifty zone. It's a dual carriageway, there wasn't a single other car on the road and the visibility was just about perfect. I may have been driving faster than the prescribed limit but I was clearly driving at a safe speed for the conditions at that time. Whilst being caught speeding can lead to a penalty and points on your driving licence, most police forces offer the opportunity to attend a 'driver awareness...

In recent months I've discussed different ways having dyspraxia affects me but it occurred to me that I've not really discussed it in more general terms. Throughout the week I've noted down what I shall refer to as 'dyspraxia moments', times when I'm doing something and thinking that people without dyspraxia don't generally face these ridiculous struggles. It's not a complete list but I think it highlights most aspects that I regularly find difficult. Monday 17th June 7:35AM Before I go to work I need to trim my beard. This is a delicate task and I know from experience how easy it is to accidentally take off a massive chunk and leaving an odd bald patch. Still, I can get away with only trimming my beard once or twice a week and that's a lot better than having to shave every day, a task I found fiddly and laborious. I only grew a beard because it made my life easier and it's fortunate that I seem to suit having one. Personal care in general...

Some people are born with an in-built talent for music. They can learn how to play multiple instruments, read musical notation like it's a language and hear a musical note and be able to identify it. I am not one of those people. I was about eight when I decided I wanted to play an instrument. I'm not sure quite why I made that decision but I suspect it was because some of my friends did it. It didn't seem to matter which instrument and for reasons I've long since forgotten I selected the clarinet. It's really hard for a small child to play the clarinet because you need reasonably sized fingers so I started with the treble recorder. The treble recorder is essentially just a bigger version of the recorder primary school children have been playing badly for generations. It's size means it gives a slightly deeper sound so isn't quite so unbearably squeaky. Initially things went fairly well as I learnt the first three notes and was able to play Hot Cross Bun...

It was the end of April and as is often the case I was walking along a local footpath. Suddenly a small bird fluttered out of a post beside me. 'That's odd' I thought and took a closer look at the post. The top of the post was missing, exposing it's hollow centre. I glanced down the hole to see seven perfect little eggs sitting at the bottom. I didn't realise it at the time but this unusual nest was going to become important to me over the subsequent weeks. I was in the process on working towards gaining Higher Level Teaching Assistant or HLTA status and achieving it would result in a promotion, more responsibility and better financial prospects. To obtain said status I had to do a huge written task and send it off to be assessed. My assessor would then come and visit me at work and look at the file of evidence to back up the written stuff and also to interview me.  I worked really hard on the written activities and ended up writing more than 10,000 wo...

Prime Minister Theresa May announced her resignation this week as she's totally failed to make any progress with Brexit. Whilst I don't really agree with her politics, I do have sympathy for her. Trying to keep both the EU and all the British MPs happy was an impossible task. She's been blamed for Grenfell Tower and Universal Credit but these were caused by her predecessor, who can also be blamed for the whole mess that is Brexit.  As endless Tory MPs announce they want to be the next PM, I started to wonder what I would do if I was prime minister. Welcome to the Danifesto.  Spending My big plan is to increase spending on public services in order to start fixing problems caused by years of austerity. "Where would the money come from to do this?" I hear you ask. My idea is to undertake a major review into the structure of public services and work to cut both the excessive wages that many in managerial roles have and the number of managers there are....

I recently joined a Facebook group for adults with dyspraxia and it's been something of an eye-opener. I often think that certain things I do are a bit weird but it turns out that in this community they are perfectly normal. Recently something that has been discussed is 'verbal dyspraxia', a phrase I'd heard of but didn't really know much about. A Google search gives you this definition: "A child with verbal dyspraxia has difficulty planning and coordinating their movement of muscles used (e.g. tongue, lips, jaw, palate) to produce the right speech sounds or words." That was very much me, to the extent that as a young child I regularly saw a speech therapist. I spent years doing tongue twisters and can now say "Lucy likes lemon lollies least" with ease thanks to significant practice in order to be able to say the "l" sound. I was also told I needed help with my speech because I used to get a lot of ear infections. The belief seem...

I have an ever-growing love of cinema which really ramped up a notch when I discovered Letterboxd , a website for film lovers where you can record the films you watch. Then I discovered the Letterbox Season Challenge. The basic premise is that every week for nine months you watch a film with a certain theme that you've never seen before. This included different genres, directors, film movements and more. It's an odyssey into cinema and I had such a great time doing it. It started fairly sedately with "Coming of Age in the 2010s" for which I watched a lovely British film called Submarine . It wasn't long before I was delving into new territory though and in week two for "Australian New Wave" I found myself watching Kangaroo , an obscure Aussie film based on an obscure D.H. Lawrence novel. By week three I found myself watching Hara-Kiri: Death of a Samurai , a film entirely in Japanese. It was all a bit bonkers. I ended up watching some really brill...