The Adventure of the Special Playgroup

I recently joined a Facebook group for adults with dyspraxia and it's been something of an eye-opener. I often think that certain things I do are a bit weird but it turns out that in this community they are perfectly normal.

Recently something that has been discussed is 'verbal dyspraxia', a phrase I'd heard of but didn't really know much about. A Google search gives you this definition:

"A child with verbal dyspraxia has difficulty planning and coordinating their movement of muscles used (e.g. tongue, lips, jaw, palate) to produce the right speech sounds or words."

That was very much me, to the extent that as a young child I regularly saw a speech therapist. I spent years doing tongue twisters and can now say "Lucy likes lemon lollies least" with ease thanks to significant practice in order to be able to say the "l" sound.

I was also told I needed help with my speech because I used to get a lot of ear infections. The belief seemed to be that I'd had trouble hearing properly and that was why I couldn't speak properly. I went along with this as a four year old child though I didn't think that I'd ever had much trouble hearing- it was just that I couldn't get my mouth to make the sound I wanted it to.

I even attended what I knew as "special playgroup" one day a week which as far as I can remember seemed to consist of me wearing headphones and attempting to repeat words that were played to me. It's a source of frustration to me that no-one recognised why I was having difficulty with my speech. There were several moments during the earlier stages of my educational career that people identified that I need additional support but no-one managed to join up the dots and realise why this was. I sometimes consider how much easier elements of my school life would have been if someone had managed to identify me as dyspraxic.

Part of the issue was that in other ways I was developing well. I'd fall behind in something, get additional support and then I'd be doing fine. I know that most of the other children that went to "special playgroup" spent most of their time in education in some form of additional needs unit. But though I had my issues, academically I was probably above average. I can also remember being taken out of class for additional support with English in one academic year before the following year being taken out of class to work in a gifted and talented group for English. It was all very confusing but I think that my lack of diagnosis meant I probably didn't fulfill my potential.

I still have some issues with my speech as an adult. My mouth moves faster than my brain can process what it wants to say which results in mumbling and words running into one another. I've mentioned here before how I've was once told my voice was monotone as I struggle to moderate the pitch of my voice.

Another thing that was discussed on the group was having difficulty with audio processing. It was something that I knew I found difficult but it turns out I'm not alone in this either. My brain takes a relatively long time to process what someone is saying and so it can end up with a weirdly long gap between someone asking me a question and me replying. This is something that happens at work all the time; an eerie silence falls after someone asks me a question as my brain struggles to process what it's been asked and then formulate an answer.

Someone on the group said they watch TV with the subtitles on to help them follow the dialogue which blew my mind because I often do the same. I'd not really even thought about why I found it easier to watch things with subtitles but at some point I discovered that it is. It's because my brain can process written language a lot quicker than it can process spoken language and it means I can keep up with dialogue without missing things.

To other people, all this can make me seem a bit weird. There's an awkward silence and probably a confused look on my face when I'm processing a question. To most people I seem unusually quiet and withdrawn because I don't very often participate in conversations with people I don't know well or when more than several people are involved. I try to anticipate what is being said and this sometimes ends up with me saying something that makes no sense whatsoever because I've anticipated incorrectly- by the time my brain has caught up with what was being said it's too late and I feel like an complete moron.

In summary: I'm a weirdo, but not the only one.