The Adventures of Dysfunctional Dan

Today’s blog post is something of an experiment. I was sat here scratching my head, trying to pluck out an idea for a blog post. I had lots of bits of ideas but nothing that would fill a whole post. And then I thought, why don’t I write all the things! Last week I went to see Marvel’s latest blockbuster,  Guardians of the Galaxy . I love the current comics run but I was a little sceptical that it would work well as film. Fortunately, it did and was properly good fun. Any film that make a CGI talking racoon a proper character knows what it is doing.  Guardians  must have been about the seventh film I have seen at the cinema this year and all but one of those were by myself. There’s something of a social stigma to going alone to the cinema but it doesn’t make much sense. Going to the cinema is an activity where you sit down next to the people you are going with and then don’t talk to them for a few hours. I may as well not to talk to them without them there. Usual...

Tomorrow is a big day for teenager across the UK, the day they find out their A-level results and for many of them whether they are good enough to get into their preferred university. This seemed a good time to look back on my experience of results days. *Imagine flashback harp noise here* It was a Thursday morning and the moment had finally arrived. Would I go to university, would I get the necessary grades of two Cs and a B in order to begin a long and successful career in teaching? After a seemingly eternal queue I picked up the envelope and disappeared into a corner to open it. I ripped open the seal and then had to spend a few minutes interpreting all the numbers and letters on the pieces of paper within. The quickened beating of my heart made the simple process of reading almost impossible. Eventually some distant part of the brain which was actually functioning properly worked out the grades. A ‘B’ for History. How on Earth did that happen? I realised I must have written ...

Previously on Dan 2.0: After months of hunting and hurting, I finally found a job. I decided this was only the beginning on the quest to improve myself. It is quite late at night when I am typing this out and that is never a good idea. Things always seem much worse late at night than they do in the daylight. Or at least less bearable. I felt it was time for another ‘life update’ post, the first post-job-search-post and despite the late hour, here it comes. I had the unenviable task of filling out all the paperwork for my new job at the weekend. Because I will be employed by a local authority this requires a lot of work. Mine was perhaps more difficult than most. Firstly, they wanted my Doctor’s details and I then realised I was still registered to a Doctor’s at my university town. This meant I had to go into my local Doctors to re-register. I naively thought this would be an easy task. After all, they had been my local surgery for all but my time at university, 18 years of my life...

45 years ago today humans first landed on the Moon. We’ve all seen the famous footage of Neil Armstrong as he says those famous words “this is one small step for a* man, one giant leap for mankind”. Unfortunately, Mr Armstrong was wrong. It should have been a giant leap forward for mankind and it probably felt like it at the time but nothing really came of it. In the three years after Apollo 11, another ten astronauts walked on to the Moon (one of them played golf). The last was 1972 and no human has even been in the Moon’s orbit since then. For only three years was there a regular succession of humans stepping on another ‘world’. And that was it. Apollo 17, December 1973 This worries me. In the 21st century the idea of humans colonising other parts of the solar system, the galaxy and even more seems a ridiculous idea, something out of science-fiction. But back in the middle of the 20th century it seemed perfectly logical, the way we were heading. We really need to get a shi...

Previously on Dan 2.0: My job search was not going well. I had two interviews and was rejected for both jobs. I had one more interview to come, my final hope of having a school-based job for the upcoming school year. I considered drawing this out in a post re-telling events in a tense filled way, but I am so excited I just have to talk about it from the off. I HAVE A JOB! The last six months have been awful and I couldn’t be more pleased to finally have some good news to share. In fact, I feel something akin to this: Logic dictates that I must have done rather well at that third interview and offered a job there. In this case, logic is hopelessly wrong. I was doing my best to prepare for the interview and was more nervous than ever seeing as though it felt like my last chance and I’d messed up on the previous two interviews. It was Monday lunch-time and after finishing some building work on the Family Guy: Quest for Stuff (which I may be a little obsessed with) when I thought ...

Another week, another interview. My interview last week was not a success and this didn’t help to make me any less nervous. And last week I wasn’t that keen on the job, whereas this week I really wanted it. The pressure was on. From the moment I pressed the intercom to be let into the school grounds the familiar job interview awkwardness began. I always find new situations and new people difficult but usually that’s not much of a problem as I can sit quietly and just get through the situation. The trouble is at a job interview I have to try to be assertive and conversational because that is kind of the point. To me it feels like I am having to act the character of “employable professional” but without a script, meaning it is all improvisation. It’s only when I’m asked an expected question when I can use my mental script and it sounds really good. Unfortunately there is no way you can predict everything they are going to ask you. This is what I feel like when I reflect...

For the last few weeks I have had nothing much to report but this week is different. This week, I have actual news. Does this mean I am now happily employed? Well, you’ll have to read until the end to find out! Monday was a big day because it was the day our uni results were published. I am now the owner of a 2.1 degree in primary teaching. A 2.1 is a pretty decent degree to fairly pleased about that. I’m mostly apathetic about the whole thing though as it was kind of irrelevant what level degree I achieved, it is still little use in getting a non primary teaching job. Late last week I received an invite to interview for one of the jobs I applied for. This invite was quickly followed by a shopping trip because my parents had decided that I required an entire new suit for the occasion, despite the fact I considered my old one perfectly fine. I feel that as long as I look presentable it doesn’t matter- not having a brand new outfit is the least of your worries when you find normal c...