The Adventure of the Neurodiversity Spectrum
In which I try to explain my brain...
For many years people with autism have been fighting to get researchers to understand that whilst they might face challenges with interacting with other people, actually it's sensory overload that is their issue that most affects their everyday lives. A similar thing can be said of dyspraxia. Research on dyspraxia is still pretty limited, especially in adults, but nearly all of it focuses on motor control. Yes, being clumsy is annoying but it's actually a pretty minor thing compared to other ways dyspraxia affects my life.
If you look at the symptoms listed by the Dyspraxia Foundation, the motor control stuff isn't the stuff that overly affects my life. There's the mental fatigue, often made worse by my brain failing to shut off to go to sleep. Then there's the emotional effects, something which many researchers seem to assume is due to motor control but for me and others I've discussed this with that doesn't seem to be the case.
Then there are the things that cross-over with the other areas of neurodiversity. I've become increasingly aware recently that my attention span is actually pretty limited in some circumstances. I've found meetings where you have to sit and listen to someone hard enough in person but over Zoom I find it even more mind-numbing and my brain constantly drifts away and I have to try to tune back into what I am supposed to be doing. But on the right activity I can be focused for ages and this all sounds a lot like how some people describe ADHD.
Then there's the sensory stuff. I am hypersensitive to some things. One of them is sound, with particular noises that I always find deeply uncomfortable including motor bike engines and steam train whistles (though fortunately the latter is not something I have to endure very often!). There are certain textures, usually wool or similar fabric, which give me a whole body sensation which I can't even find the words to describe. The closest I can think of to compare it to is someone putting an ice cube down your back but without it feeling cold, if that makes any sense at all. Speaking of temperature, I'm also really sensitive to heat. I rarely use hot taps to wash my hands because at what most people would consider a normal temperature I feel like my hands are being scorched. I used the shower at home over Christmas that my brother had set and I felt like I had burned my scalp off. All of this sounds like the sensory processing difficulties that some people with autism describe.
If I went through the diagnostic process for autism or ADHD I know I would probably have more traits than the average person but it's likely I wouldn't have enough of them to meet the criteria to be diagnosed. This is where things get complicated. At what point does dyspraxia end and autism or ADHD begin? The medical world has very specific criteria for diagnosing this stuff but it's actually pretty limiting.
I've long thought that the specific labels of 'autism' etc are not totally helpful. I know my experiences overlap with many people with autism even though I have dyspraxia which is often considered to be a motor control condition and autism is often considered to be a social development condition. I've worked with a sizeable number of children with autism and know that whilst there are similarities no two people with autism, or indeed with dyspraxia, are the same.
I think that eventually the way people with neurodiverse conditions are diagnosed will become more unified as it becomes recognised how interlinked they are. Perhaps alongside diagnoses of autism etc people might also be diagnosed as having a 'processing disorder'. It might be that some people who don't clearly meet the diagnostic criteria of most neurodiverse conditions could have the sole diagnosis of a 'processing disorder'.
I can envisage a lot of benefits from this. If such a system had existed when I was young then it seems more likely that my differences would have been picked up, rather than some teachers recognising that I was a bit different but not really knowing any more than that. There has been huge issues with the fact that girls are not being diagnosed with autism due to the way it often manifests in them. A more unified system would mean that people would eventually have a less rigid view of any one condition and girls and indeed other neurodivergent people who are currently missed would be more likely to be identified and given the support they need and deserve.
I should stress, whilst I have some knowledge of this stuff from reading up on it and my work with children with special needs I am certainly no expert. I certainly wouldn't go so far as to say the current system of diagnosis is utterly flawed but it seems clear from my own personal experiences that there's a long way to go in understanding neurodiversity and that one way or another current systems will change as we understand more.
I hope that all made some sort of sense. Turning the thoughts in my head into words is another thing I struggle with. I think in writing at least it tends to work but this wouldn't have been anywhere near as eloquent if I'd attempted to say it out loud. Thanks for reading and I'll be back soon with whatever else ends up spilling out of my brain!
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