Ten Year Challenge

If you've been on social media this week you'll likely have seen the trend #10yearchallenge where people are comparing photos of them ten years ago and now. I thought that it would be interesting to do something along the same lines, although thinking somewhat more deeply than the physical side of things.

That said, let's begin with the photos...

Look at the hair! I miss the hair! And that hoodie, I loved that hoodie! I do not miss the acne though. I think around this point my acne was beginning to improve after several years of having a face like a crater-filled moon. I'd tried every acne product on the market and nothing had an effect, not even medication prescribed by my doctor. 

January 2009 was a wonderful point in my life. I was still in the early stage of my A-levels and at this point did not have a clue what my plans were career-wise. I was six months into the most serious relationship I've ever had and things were going well. 

My priorities were somewhat different to what they are now. My A-level work was something I just had to do but it came second to my busy social life and my relationship with my girlfriend. It was a time when I'd decide rather than study during my free periods I'd arrange for several of my mates to drive to my house and we'd play on the Wii for a couple of hours. Indeed, Nintendo's famous console was such a big influence in my life at the time that the folder on my laptop for January 2009 contains a sub-folder titled 'Wii' which includes shots of my Mii having it's shoes-shined on Animal Crossing: Let's go to the City and standing with Mario and Princess Peach having completed Mario Kart Wii. 

In 2009, I'd happily sleep in to lunch time or well beyond if I could get away with it. A free period in the morning meant extra sleep time as far as I was concerned. I'd force myself up to go to Sixth Form when required and would occasionally get up to meet my girlfriend at the end of her night shift at 8AM. 

Much of this seems inconceivable to me today. I actually feel like 2009 was around the last time I really felt truly happy. I know that sounds really forlorn and miserable but in every year between then and now I can quickly think of a long period which was awful for reason for another. I genuinely feel great at the moment though. After four and a half years in my current job I'm about to start a short course to gain accreditation to be a higher level teaching assistant. I'm not sure that ten years ago I could possibly have imagined being at this point and certainly not the route I took to get there. I'm quite proud of myself in the way I've developed both professionally and personally, all things considered. 

I'm not in a relationship now and having been for some considerable time but it doesn't feel as important to me as it did back then. In my teenage years having a girlfriend was my number one priority. I'm not going to pretend it wouldn't be nice but it doesn't obsess me in the same way it once did. Similarly, my social life is nowhere near as busy as it was back then. Again, I'm not overly bothered by that fact. I've grown more introverted as I've got older and the thought of doing something with my friends most days is actually exhausting.

I'm far more active than I was back then too. I can't imagine sleeping until 10AM, let alone into the afternoon. I am now in an active job rather than sitting in classrooms not listening to teachers for much of the day. I now walk lots, doing 10,000 steps every day- back then I probably didn't manage 1000 some days.  

I regularly think of the difficult moments of my life from the previous ten years. The day my girlfriend broke up with me and I cried whilst eating a pizza.The conversation with my parents where I decided I was going to do a teaching degree and how different my life could have been if that conversation hadn't happened. I can remember acting like a lunatic at uni and seriously considering jumping out of a first floor window to avoid talking to my friends. Getting an accidental text from a girl I liked that was talking about me negatively and drinking a bottle of wine in my basement room. The many mistakes on my final teaching placement and the lack of support from the people who were supposed to be my mentors. Sat in a hostel over a thousand miles from home and deciding to give up on my teaching career. Attending interview after interview and failing to make an impression on anyone. Taking driving test after driving test and being so nervous I kept failing. 

The thing is though, I wouldn't change the bad moments. As much as they caused me pain and distress at the time and for years afterwards, they are part of who I am today. As humans we are defined by everything we go through, especially the bad stuff. It's how we persevere and move beyond it that shows us who we really are. 

All in all, most of the differences between 2009 me and 2019 me are positive. I'd keep the hair though given the choice.