It's Not Coming Home
Football is not coming home but what a journey it was.
I'm not into football. As a 26 year old Englishman I often feel I ought to be because it's almost expected. There are various issues with football. For me, sitting and watching anything for ninety minutes (and even longer if there's extra time) is hard work. I don't have the attention span. Then there's footballers themselves who are both incredibly stupid and cheat all the time. Coming from a family of hockey players this is incredibly frustrating- if you even tried to approach the umpire to argue a decision you would be sent to the sin bin in hockey. In football, referees are crowded by argumentative players and have to deal with players cheating by diving, wasting time and committing handball on a regular basis.
I thought I'd write a little about following England through this world cup...
It all began on a Monday night when England played Tunisia. I'd had a rubbish day at work so whilst 18 million people watched the match I took the opportunity to go for a particularly quiet stroll around the local fishing lake. I was surprised to find there will still people fishing, but then again I have concluded that fishermen have no lives because no matter what the weather or what's going on in the world there seem to be people out there fishing.
I returned in time to see the second half where England struggled against a defensive Tunisia. It was clear that we were playing fairly well but strong defending and dodgy refereeing made it look like we were about to fall at the first hurdle. In the end Harry Kane scored a late winner to secure the three points. He was one of the few England players I actually recognised- I'm not a huge follower of football but I know of many of the top premiership players and this England team consisted of few big names. It felt like I was watching a reboot of a TV show I'd seen before and was here introduced to the main characters.
Episode Two was Panama on a Sunday afternoon. It was the beginning of a heatwave so everyone was in a good mood anyway. I switched the game on after 12 minutes and was amazed to discover England were one-nil up already. The first half preceeded to be a football masterclass as Panama helplessly wrestled England players to the ground as they conceded goal after goal. In unprecedented events, England were five-nil up at half time.
The second half proved to be incredibly dull. Harry Kane scored another goal to make it a hat-trick and we kindly let Panama score their first every world cup game. A six-one win made everyone go a little crazy with social media full of the phrase "it's coming home". In the evening I walked past the usually quiet local pub and was surprised to find myself having to negotiate a full on fight, no doubt caused by an afternoon of alcohol-filled celebrations. It was almost like we'd won the cup, not just two matches.
Belgium was a different prospect- having already qualified to the next round it was all about where we'd finish in the group, though no-one seemed to know where we actually wanted to finish. Would it better to finish second and face an easier route through the knock-out stages or keep up our new found winning ways?
The match against the tiny country who are inexplicably talented at football proved a bit boring in the end. Both sides put out a much weaker team and whilst either of them could have won it was Belgium who managed to score. Second in the group it was then and so we progressed to play Colombia.
England have a poor history in knock-out games but even we could beat Colombia, surely? I watched this match with my Dad as Colombia gradually got more and more lairy, apparently confusing football with greco-roman wrestling. Eventually they gave away a penalty and Harry Kane made it straight-forward.
It was all going to plan and we just had to get through the game without conceding. Then, impossibly, Colombia managed to score in the 93rd minute. A nation uttered swear words as we had to sit through another half an hour of the match only for not much to happen. Then we found ourselves watching a penalty shootout and we all knew the likely result. England had never won a penalty shootout at a world cup before. But thanks to Jordan Pickford's goalkeeping and the calmness of Harry Kane and Eric Dier we finally broke with tradition.
The quarter-final was against Sweden and proved to be a fairly straight-forward match. The nation got it's own back against hours of trying to assemble flat-pack furniture as we beat the swedes two-nil in what I think was probably the least stressful England knock-out match of all time.
It was Croatia in the semi-finals. Within minutes England were one-nil up- I didn't even cheer because my brain couldn't process that we had actually scored so quickly. It was too early though and in the second half I could only watch helplessly as England's quality failed to appear and Sweden equalised to take the match to extra time. England picked up a little but it was not enough to beat the better team on the night- we lost two-one.
I didn't think I'd ever care about football. I've seen England matches before but I think this tournament was the first time I'd ever seen England win a knock-out match at a world cup. We won two and were ahead in the semi-final. It was really great to be part of the country coming together as all anyone was talking about was how well the team were doing and where they'd be watching the next match. I'd never seen anything like it before.
I think what helped is how nice the England team are. There was the odd moment of silly aggression in the games which is inevitable with the adrenalin flowing but the players didn't constantly foul the other teams, nor did they dive to the floor in the hope of tricking the referees.
The real hero though is waist-coasted manager Gareth Southgate. Despite being a former footballer he seems like a perfectly normal, kind-hearted man. Every time the players spoke about him it was with affection and you could see why- at the end of every game he went round and had a quick word with every player, whether the team won or lost. He consoled the Colombian players when they lost the match on penalties. Throughout the tournament he was a picture of calm no matter what the score was.
Most of all though he became a proper role model in football. He doesn't come across as the most masculine of men yet he's become loved by the country. It shows us that men don't have to be aggressive and out-spoken and that if anything it's more appealing if they are calm, friendly and kind. That's what a proper man looks like 21st century Britain and I hope he inspires a generation of young footballers to behave like he does.
Thank you to Gareth Southgate and the England team for such an enjoyable ride. I can't wait to see where you go from here!
I'm not into football. As a 26 year old Englishman I often feel I ought to be because it's almost expected. There are various issues with football. For me, sitting and watching anything for ninety minutes (and even longer if there's extra time) is hard work. I don't have the attention span. Then there's footballers themselves who are both incredibly stupid and cheat all the time. Coming from a family of hockey players this is incredibly frustrating- if you even tried to approach the umpire to argue a decision you would be sent to the sin bin in hockey. In football, referees are crowded by argumentative players and have to deal with players cheating by diving, wasting time and committing handball on a regular basis.
I thought I'd write a little about following England through this world cup...
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| Three Lions on the Shirt Fifty-Two Years of Hurt :S |
I returned in time to see the second half where England struggled against a defensive Tunisia. It was clear that we were playing fairly well but strong defending and dodgy refereeing made it look like we were about to fall at the first hurdle. In the end Harry Kane scored a late winner to secure the three points. He was one of the few England players I actually recognised- I'm not a huge follower of football but I know of many of the top premiership players and this England team consisted of few big names. It felt like I was watching a reboot of a TV show I'd seen before and was here introduced to the main characters.
Episode Two was Panama on a Sunday afternoon. It was the beginning of a heatwave so everyone was in a good mood anyway. I switched the game on after 12 minutes and was amazed to discover England were one-nil up already. The first half preceeded to be a football masterclass as Panama helplessly wrestled England players to the ground as they conceded goal after goal. In unprecedented events, England were five-nil up at half time.
The second half proved to be incredibly dull. Harry Kane scored another goal to make it a hat-trick and we kindly let Panama score their first every world cup game. A six-one win made everyone go a little crazy with social media full of the phrase "it's coming home". In the evening I walked past the usually quiet local pub and was surprised to find myself having to negotiate a full on fight, no doubt caused by an afternoon of alcohol-filled celebrations. It was almost like we'd won the cup, not just two matches.
Belgium was a different prospect- having already qualified to the next round it was all about where we'd finish in the group, though no-one seemed to know where we actually wanted to finish. Would it better to finish second and face an easier route through the knock-out stages or keep up our new found winning ways?
The match against the tiny country who are inexplicably talented at football proved a bit boring in the end. Both sides put out a much weaker team and whilst either of them could have won it was Belgium who managed to score. Second in the group it was then and so we progressed to play Colombia.
England have a poor history in knock-out games but even we could beat Colombia, surely? I watched this match with my Dad as Colombia gradually got more and more lairy, apparently confusing football with greco-roman wrestling. Eventually they gave away a penalty and Harry Kane made it straight-forward.
It was all going to plan and we just had to get through the game without conceding. Then, impossibly, Colombia managed to score in the 93rd minute. A nation uttered swear words as we had to sit through another half an hour of the match only for not much to happen. Then we found ourselves watching a penalty shootout and we all knew the likely result. England had never won a penalty shootout at a world cup before. But thanks to Jordan Pickford's goalkeeping and the calmness of Harry Kane and Eric Dier we finally broke with tradition.
The quarter-final was against Sweden and proved to be a fairly straight-forward match. The nation got it's own back against hours of trying to assemble flat-pack furniture as we beat the swedes two-nil in what I think was probably the least stressful England knock-out match of all time.
It was Croatia in the semi-finals. Within minutes England were one-nil up- I didn't even cheer because my brain couldn't process that we had actually scored so quickly. It was too early though and in the second half I could only watch helplessly as England's quality failed to appear and Sweden equalised to take the match to extra time. England picked up a little but it was not enough to beat the better team on the night- we lost two-one.
I didn't think I'd ever care about football. I've seen England matches before but I think this tournament was the first time I'd ever seen England win a knock-out match at a world cup. We won two and were ahead in the semi-final. It was really great to be part of the country coming together as all anyone was talking about was how well the team were doing and where they'd be watching the next match. I'd never seen anything like it before.
I think what helped is how nice the England team are. There was the odd moment of silly aggression in the games which is inevitable with the adrenalin flowing but the players didn't constantly foul the other teams, nor did they dive to the floor in the hope of tricking the referees.
The real hero though is waist-coasted manager Gareth Southgate. Despite being a former footballer he seems like a perfectly normal, kind-hearted man. Every time the players spoke about him it was with affection and you could see why- at the end of every game he went round and had a quick word with every player, whether the team won or lost. He consoled the Colombian players when they lost the match on penalties. Throughout the tournament he was a picture of calm no matter what the score was.
Most of all though he became a proper role model in football. He doesn't come across as the most masculine of men yet he's become loved by the country. It shows us that men don't have to be aggressive and out-spoken and that if anything it's more appealing if they are calm, friendly and kind. That's what a proper man looks like 21st century Britain and I hope he inspires a generation of young footballers to behave like he does.
Thank you to Gareth Southgate and the England team for such an enjoyable ride. I can't wait to see where you go from here!
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