The Adventure of the Mental Health Awareness Week

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week so I thought I'd write about my own experiences.

I'm always a little uncertain talking about my mental health. The thought of seeing someone professional about it brings an enormous fear to me and I'm aware that in all likelihood the best they'd offer would be a link to a website that I could just Google. It's also difficult to work out how normal what I'm feeling is. Everyone goes through highs and lows and that's perfectly normal. I suspect though that when I've experienced extreme lows that is less normal, though far from unique. 

That's one of the big problems with discussing mental health and why initiatives like awareness week exist. As much as we're regularly reminded that it's healthy to discuss our mental health, it's not something most of us do very much. There are very few people in the world I would feel genuinely comfortable discussing mine with. Mind you, there are a very few people I would feel comfortable discussing anything with. The point is, we don't discuss it much and that's why trying to understand what is normal is really hard. 

I discuss mental health on this blog from time to time; for some reason this feels like a platform I feel comfortable talking about things on, even though I know there's people who I see regularly that read it. I fear that talking about mental health issues might paint the picture of someone who is facing a continual internal struggle. But the vast majority of the time, I'm fine. I'm just a normal person (depending on your definition of normal). Sometimes though things go wrong internally and life seems unbearable. 

Mental health is a hugely complicated thing combining experiences, personality and the reaction of chemicals in your head which in turn are influenced by sleep, diet and many other things. I sometimes find it weird how my emotions aren't predictable and how some bad moments can be brushed away but other moments escalate to some major battle internally. I've noticed over time how my mental health has changed. A few years ago when things were at their worst, I felt low, full of self-loathing and nihilism. I think that over time I've begun to accept who I am and gained a little confidence and now things are bad less often. Now I suffer more from anxiety than a feeling of emptiness. 

Though research into pretty much every aspect of dyspraxia is limited, it's still understood by the dyspraxia community (which is very much a thing and includes memes about falling over) that there is a strong link between having dyspraxia and having mental health issues. The Dyspraxia Foundation says: 

"DCD/Dyspraxia is often recognised as a movement disorder, but the emotional effects can be deeply felt. Without the right recognition and support, dyspraxia/DCD can lead to psychological problems such as anxiety and depression, particularly for adults who experience difficulties in higher education and at work."

I also think that the way the dyspraxic mind works lends itself to mental health issues. Dyspraxia is essentially a brain processing disorder and in many people, including myself, the brain is still processing events hours after they happen. It's obvious that this is not helpful for having good mental health. When I should be relaxing and shutting down, my brain is instead processing the day's events.

The theme of this year's Mental Health Awareness Week is "kindness". According to the Mental Health Foundation (I'm very foundation heavy today):

"The research shows that kindness is an antidote to isolation and creates a sense of belonging. It helps reduce stress, brings a fresh perspective and deepens friendships."

I totally agree with this and my own experience has shown me the difference it can make. The 15th March 2017 was one of the worst days of my life. There are few dates I can actually recall being down but this was so memorably awful that I remember it. I was really struggling with everything and battling enormous challenges at work. My colleagues at the time didn't show kindness to me in trying to help the difficult circumstances and the 15th March happened to be my birthday and it wasn't even mentioned. I can distinctly remember that evening walking along a nearby street and very nearly breaking down completely. 

Now let's fast forward to the same date this year, 2020. Times had got tough again and I was doing my best to struggle through. I was called to one of the classes I work in, only one afternoon a week then, and to my surprise they'd had the kindness to celebrate my birthday with cake and presents and everything. The colleagues in my current main class found out about my birthday because of this and they, with very little notice, organised presents and cakes for me. Nobody was under any obligation to do this but it helped me to get through the difficult time and did exactly what the quote above suggests That evening I felt a sense of belonging and relaxed when I could so easily have been at a complete low. 

Kindness matters. It's not about being kind to people who you know are struggling with their mental health, it's about being kind to everyone. Kindness makes the world a better place to live and helping people struggling with their mental health is just one way brilliant consequence of being kind.