Love and Marriage
As you know, today sees the nuptials of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. I don't really care.
I actually quite like the concept of the royal family what with its long history. They are a part of our culture, something that sets the UK apart in a world where everyone is increasingly becoming more alike. I have a lot of respect for the Queen who still works hard despite being in her nineties and Prince William and Harry have done so much good for charity.
The marriage is of less interest though. Prince Harry is now sixth in line to the throne so he's actually become a fairly minor royal. We are not witnessing a future king get married. At the moment he's basically just a bloke with a famous nan.
Some people just get excited about any wedding. I've never understood an excitement for stranger's happiness. If you know someone well, a close friend or family member, then sure- it's fantastic to see them begin a new life with someone they've fallen in love with. But feeling the same emotions about a stranger's wedding is odd. Harry and Meghan's wedding will essentially be the same as millions of other weddings that happen all year round. Unless you know them personally why should it mean anything to you?
Perhaps I am overly cynical, although I know many people probably agree with my thoughts. A large wedding also leads to people discussing their own weddings or what they'd do for their wedding. It occurred to be as someone who has been perpetually single that I've never really thought about getting married. I can't honestly imagine it happening because it seems such an improbable event. What would I have for my first dance? Whatever the lunatic that agreed to marry me wanted!
I read an article on the BBC recently entitled 'I'm sad that I didn't have sex until I was 37'. They tried to sex it up a bit but it's really about living most of your life without having a relationship. The story struck a chord with me as my own experiences have not been totally dissimilar (though there are differences).
I had a fairly active love life as a teenager, more so than most people I knew. My longest relationship started when I was 16 and lasted through to a little after my 18th birthday, not too far off being two years long. It ended abruptly and at the time I was devastated. As they say, time heals all wounds and whilst the pain of that time will always live with me I am thankful now that the relationship ended when it did, for many reasons.
But since then, zilch. I studied a course at university where 80% of the students were female and then spent four years working in a school where the vast majority of my colleagues are female. There have been people I've been attracted to, some who I told of my feelings and others who I didn't. For whatever reason relationships have eluded me. I've never had a romantic relationship in my adult life and I'm 26.
There's a part of me that thinks this is my fault, that I'm not desirable and not worth being in a relationship with. At times that part can overwhelm and is just another element in the overarching feelings of self-doubt I feel most of the time. But as the article points out, 'not having love is not anybody's fault, it's just circumstances'.
Would I care more about the royal wedding if the whole concept of relationships and weddings was more tangible to me? Maybe. At some level it's good to see someone that comes across as a genuinely nice person like Prince Harry find love and happiness but I don't want to watch a stranger's wedding nor the pomp and ceremony of royal pageantry. It's just not me.
I actually quite like the concept of the royal family what with its long history. They are a part of our culture, something that sets the UK apart in a world where everyone is increasingly becoming more alike. I have a lot of respect for the Queen who still works hard despite being in her nineties and Prince William and Harry have done so much good for charity.
The marriage is of less interest though. Prince Harry is now sixth in line to the throne so he's actually become a fairly minor royal. We are not witnessing a future king get married. At the moment he's basically just a bloke with a famous nan.
Some people just get excited about any wedding. I've never understood an excitement for stranger's happiness. If you know someone well, a close friend or family member, then sure- it's fantastic to see them begin a new life with someone they've fallen in love with. But feeling the same emotions about a stranger's wedding is odd. Harry and Meghan's wedding will essentially be the same as millions of other weddings that happen all year round. Unless you know them personally why should it mean anything to you?
Perhaps I am overly cynical, although I know many people probably agree with my thoughts. A large wedding also leads to people discussing their own weddings or what they'd do for their wedding. It occurred to be as someone who has been perpetually single that I've never really thought about getting married. I can't honestly imagine it happening because it seems such an improbable event. What would I have for my first dance? Whatever the lunatic that agreed to marry me wanted!
I read an article on the BBC recently entitled 'I'm sad that I didn't have sex until I was 37'. They tried to sex it up a bit but it's really about living most of your life without having a relationship. The story struck a chord with me as my own experiences have not been totally dissimilar (though there are differences).
I had a fairly active love life as a teenager, more so than most people I knew. My longest relationship started when I was 16 and lasted through to a little after my 18th birthday, not too far off being two years long. It ended abruptly and at the time I was devastated. As they say, time heals all wounds and whilst the pain of that time will always live with me I am thankful now that the relationship ended when it did, for many reasons.
But since then, zilch. I studied a course at university where 80% of the students were female and then spent four years working in a school where the vast majority of my colleagues are female. There have been people I've been attracted to, some who I told of my feelings and others who I didn't. For whatever reason relationships have eluded me. I've never had a romantic relationship in my adult life and I'm 26.
There's a part of me that thinks this is my fault, that I'm not desirable and not worth being in a relationship with. At times that part can overwhelm and is just another element in the overarching feelings of self-doubt I feel most of the time. But as the article points out, 'not having love is not anybody's fault, it's just circumstances'.
Would I care more about the royal wedding if the whole concept of relationships and weddings was more tangible to me? Maybe. At some level it's good to see someone that comes across as a genuinely nice person like Prince Harry find love and happiness but I don't want to watch a stranger's wedding nor the pomp and ceremony of royal pageantry. It's just not me.
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