Another Year Older

I’m currently doing my best to enjoy the Easter holidays, even if the weather is doing it’s best to prevent that. It was another really challenging term at work and the long nights didn’t help. But despite all sorts of challenges I made it through.
A few weeks ago was my twenty-sixth birthday. I’m not sure how I feel about being twenty-six- if anything it feels like somehow has miscalculated or I spent a few years in a coma.
This year I tried the revolutionary strategy of not telling anyone it was my birthday. I don’t like being the centre of attention and I feel like people should be celebrating the life of someone who deserves it. Obviously my family knew as did a few friends but I made no effort to celebrate.
I removed my birthday from Facebook too. Whilst some people actually do care, I know the majority of birthday messages on the social network are insincere. People write a message because Facebook tells them to and if they really did care they might actually show some interest in you.
Therefore no-one at work knew it was my birthday and so it was a perfectly normal day. Since then I’ve noticed some people mentioned that their birthday is coming up excessively and to me it just feels selfish. Perhaps my way of going about things is not particularly normal but I’d rather do this than the opposite extreme.
Aging is not fun. Over the last year I saw I’ve gradually started to go bald. I’ve always had a high forehead (it turns in my family) but now my hairline has started to recede even further. It’s also thinning around the crown. Weirdly the hair at the back of my head is as thick as it’s always been. I only have to look at my uncle to see where my hair is heading- as I understand it, he too started to lose his hair from a long age.
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I’m gradually turning into Charlie Brown…
Going bald is not something you really think about and certainly not something I would have imagined might happen to me any time before retirement. It’s not something I think about that much because after all you can’t see your own head. But when I catch my reflection in something or see a photo of myself I immediately notice how thin my hair is looking.
Is a future of being called “egghead” on the horizon (and not as part of a teatime quiz show as I dream of)? I don’t know. I’ve never been too bothered about my appearance but for some reason this does bug me. It’s something I can’t control and unlike my teenage acne something which will get worse over time rather than better. It make me feel less attractive, and I wasn’t exactly brimming with physical attractiveness in the first place.
I suppose it’s time to buy a range of hats.
Still, getting older isn’t all bad. Though I still struggle with my self-confidence age and experience does help. I meet new people all the time, especially at work, and though I still find it incredibly difficult to talk to strangers I at least feel I have knowledge of my work and plenty of other things around me. Like the fact that the word ‘panini’ is actually plural- if you are eating a ‘panini’ you are really eating a panino. It makes me squirm now when I see it written incorrectly on menus and signs. Anyway, the point is I am gradually, if painfully slowly, beginning to find a place in the world.
I am hoping to start writing more regularly here again, about once a week if I can. It’s an opportunity to flex my writing muscles if nothing else. You can comment on this entry or the link that sent you here if I so move you to do so. See you soon.

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