The Adventures of Dysfunctional Dan

I am currently enjoying a week off work as it is the half-term holiday. So far I have eaten lots of food and seen some steam trains with my grandfather. That is besides the point. This holiday marks the half-way point of the academic year and my first in the job. It’s weird how things have changed in that time. A sign that reads “Halfway”. Does this really need a caption? Not really, but I for reasons I cannot explain I have written one anyway. You may have decided that it doesn’t need one either yet you continue to read this caption, hoping there is some point to it. There isn’t. Starting the job in September was a really hard experience for me. Having ultimately failed in my mission to qualify as a teacher my self-confidence was at an all time low. I had become even more socially awkward than I was already and I although I had some experience of working with children with special needs I wasn’t confident that I’d do a good job. Things have changed a lot since then. It turn...

It is all becoming a bit familiar. For the fourth time I am sat nervously in the unpleasant waiting room waiting for my driving examiner to appear. For the fourth time my name is called, complete with surname mispronounced. For the fourth time I read a distant number plate and for the fourth time I turn the ignition whilst desperately hoping I won’t mess up. The reversing manoeuvre seems to usually occur early on in the test and I know it is the weakest part of my driving. This time I’m asked to reverse around a corner. I failed my first test on this. Somehow, after a near panic due to some approaching vehicles, I manage to perform the manoeuvre successfully. The driving test continues. The examiner asks me to stop somewhere and turns up the heating, despite the fact I feel like I am being roasted alive. I keep quiet, not wanting to upset the examiner in the slightest. He gives me some directions for the independent driving part of the test and as usual I have to really concentrat...

Today is a hugely important day. It’s Holocaust Memorial Day. I think I should start with a few scary statistics: About 11 million people were killed in the Holocaust. 6 million of them were Jews. The Nazis killed approximately two thirds of all Jews living in Europe at the time. 1.1 million of those murdered in the Holocaust were children. Obviously, the Holocaust was a terrible thing. But I always struggled to really understand it. As a teenager it seemed to very long ago, done by people far away. That was until I ended up visiting Auschwitz, the biggest of all the death camps. The main site of Auschwitz has an odd feel. It is a very recognisable location and you know terrible, unthinkable things have happened there. But the gas chambers were torn now before the allies reached there and all you can see is a large open area full of sheds. The moment that really affected me was when I was in what is now a sort of museum. In it are piles are objects that belonged to the Je...

Occasionally I write a blog post with very little idea about what the post will contain. This is one such blog post, where I just let the words drag me in whichever way they want to. Yesterday I made what is probably my only contribution of any value to society. I don’t currently pay any income tax because I don’t quite earn enough and even when my income dips over the threshold in the new financial year I’ll pay so little it will virtually be negligible. In fact I technically owe the state around £25,000 in student loans but I’m not earning enough to start paying that back either. The one thing I do have to offer though is my blood. The NHS relies on thousands of people donating blood every few months to provide blood transfusions for those who need them. It feels a bit like this when you give blood. Sort of. It’s an unpleasant few minutes but the thought that my actions could save someone’s life make it worthwhile. Yesterday was my tenth donation and I was given a thank you ...

So it’s been a little while since my last post. It’s a time in my life where nothing of interest is happening. The problem of what to do with my future lies unsolved, despite the vast amount of time my brain decides to devote to it. Occasionally though it take a break to come up with an idea for a blog post. This is one such idea. We’re halfway through January and by now many a New Year resolution has failed. The whole concept seems odd when you sit watching it from the side-lines. I’ve been gradually attempting to become a new me for some time now (see the early days of this blog) and the new year is pretty irrelevant for me. Whether you have a new year resolution or not, it’s important to remember that change is gradual and does not happen overnight. One particular resolution/thing I am not keen on is the whole “dry January” thing. A month without drinking alcohol. Obviously I’m all for raising money for charity and I know some people desperately need to cut down on the amount o...

As a child, I fully expected to be bullied. I was quite intelligent for my age, I enjoyed school and thanks to my dyspraxia I was useless at so many things. I kind of felt that I deserved to be bullied, something I now know to be silly. No-one ever deserves to be bullied, no matter what the circumstances. It only occurred to me recently that I was bullied quite a lot over my school life. It was never terrible, I could always cope with it but I suspect it probably affected me in subtle ways that I’ve not really noticed. It’s no wonder that I’m quite shy and unassertive as an adult given that when I was more confident as a child and even to some extent as a teenager I was ridiculed. There’s not one person that bullied me, more a series of disturbed personalities that sought me out as a way of making them feel better about themselves. Some I have forgiven, because they didn’t mean it and things just got out of hand when they were amongst their friends. Others were just nasty people, ...

People, in general, suck. I came to this conclusion some time ago and am regularly reminded of it. Take the other day for example. In a rare excursion into society, I was returning from a Christmas shopping trip with my friend Paul. We had got into Paul’s car and were just sorting out the shopping when there was a knock on the window. Paul opened the door to find a woman, clutching a baby, asking if we were leaving. This was not an unreasonable request, although knocking was a little impertinent, and we informed the woman that yes, we were about to leave. The door was shut and the woman backed off a little to where her husband was waiting in their car. It quickly became apparent that the windscreen was misted over and we would have to wait a few minutes for it to clear. Paul, demonstrating the qualities I look for in a friend, kindly opening the door to inform the woman that we would be a short while due to this issue. Shortly after the door was shut the knock came again and the w...