The Adventures of Dysfunctional Dan

I often find myself in something of an internal conflict. On the one hand I can be an adult with responsibilities yet at the same time I can be a big kid finding enjoyment from something childish. This week was a prime example of that conflict. A few weeks ago I was caught breaking the speed limit by a mobile speed camera. Now whilst I can't argue with the fact I was technically breaking the law, I can complain that the law is ineffective. For me, speed limits are far too rigid. I was caught at ten to eight on a Sunday morning doing sixty miles an hour in a fifty zone. It's a dual carriageway, there wasn't a single other car on the road and the visibility was just about perfect. I may have been driving faster than the prescribed limit but I was clearly driving at a safe speed for the conditions at that time. Whilst being caught speeding can lead to a penalty and points on your driving licence, most police forces offer the opportunity to attend a 'driver awareness...

In recent months I've discussed different ways having dyspraxia affects me but it occurred to me that I've not really discussed it in more general terms. Throughout the week I've noted down what I shall refer to as 'dyspraxia moments', times when I'm doing something and thinking that people without dyspraxia don't generally face these ridiculous struggles. It's not a complete list but I think it highlights most aspects that I regularly find difficult. Monday 17th June 7:35AM Before I go to work I need to trim my beard. This is a delicate task and I know from experience how easy it is to accidentally take off a massive chunk and leaving an odd bald patch. Still, I can get away with only trimming my beard once or twice a week and that's a lot better than having to shave every day, a task I found fiddly and laborious. I only grew a beard because it made my life easier and it's fortunate that I seem to suit having one. Personal care in general...

Some people are born with an in-built talent for music. They can learn how to play multiple instruments, read musical notation like it's a language and hear a musical note and be able to identify it. I am not one of those people. I was about eight when I decided I wanted to play an instrument. I'm not sure quite why I made that decision but I suspect it was because some of my friends did it. It didn't seem to matter which instrument and for reasons I've long since forgotten I selected the clarinet. It's really hard for a small child to play the clarinet because you need reasonably sized fingers so I started with the treble recorder. The treble recorder is essentially just a bigger version of the recorder primary school children have been playing badly for generations. It's size means it gives a slightly deeper sound so isn't quite so unbearably squeaky. Initially things went fairly well as I learnt the first three notes and was able to play Hot Cross Bun...

It was the end of April and as is often the case I was walking along a local footpath. Suddenly a small bird fluttered out of a post beside me. 'That's odd' I thought and took a closer look at the post. The top of the post was missing, exposing it's hollow centre. I glanced down the hole to see seven perfect little eggs sitting at the bottom. I didn't realise it at the time but this unusual nest was going to become important to me over the subsequent weeks. I was in the process on working towards gaining Higher Level Teaching Assistant or HLTA status and achieving it would result in a promotion, more responsibility and better financial prospects. To obtain said status I had to do a huge written task and send it off to be assessed. My assessor would then come and visit me at work and look at the file of evidence to back up the written stuff and also to interview me.  I worked really hard on the written activities and ended up writing more than 10,000 wo...