Regrets
The summer holidays have begun and I should be happy. I’m doing a few days work here and there but I have somewhere in the region of 40 days off. Don’t get me wrong, I needed time off and don’t particularly want to be at work. But I quickly wondered how on Earth I was going to fill those days. Work is a fantastic distraction from the reality of my life. During the work week most of my thoughts are about things that are going on at work. But when suddenly I have six weeks off that distraction is gone. The familiar thoughts of worthlessness and failure have soared to the surface once more. The trouble is I still haven’t really got over failing my final teaching placement two years ago. It took me a long time just to get over the mental trauma of it all. I quickly, perhaps too quickly, accepted the fact that I just don’t have the skills to become a teacher. But I haven’t ever got over the shame. To everyone who knew me before that placement I was a young man with a good career ...