The Adventures of Dysfunctional Dan

The Jewish festival of Passover has taken place this week. Jews commemorate their liberation from slavery in Egypt, the end to the struggles of Moses in Exodus. In the run-up to Passover, Politicians around the world have been saying some disgusting things in regards to Jews and the worst period of their persecuted history, the Holocaust. Here in the UK Ken Livingstone claimed Hitler supported Zionism (he didn’t) and the Labour party failed to sanction him effectively. White House press secretary Sean Spicer suggested Syrian leader Assad is worse than Hitler as he didn’t gas his own people (obviously wrong). Then in France far right lunatic Marine Le Pen claimed France didn’t help send Jews to death camps (they did and the French government openly admits that). Meanwhile the presence of Holocaust deniers online is growing. You know the history but it’s important I state it in black and white. Around 11 million people were brutally murdered in the Holocaust. 6 million of these ...

I recently read a book set in the 1980s which talked a lot about what was number one in the chart at the time*. I got thinking about number ones and I had an idea. Here is a poem I’ve written which tells the story of my 25 years of life. Each stanza discusses a year of my life and somewhere in the first line, in bold, is the song that was number one on my birthday that year. There’s even a couple of double A-sides and the occasional lyric. I hope it works! This looks good, I think I’ll  stay , The warmth, the love everyday. I’m hungry; thirsty; need to sleep But giving memories they’ll always keep. Oh Carolina , jump and prance, It’s time for me to walk and dance. Suddenly I have found, There’s more to life than making sound. Doop  apparently means ‘poo’, Now I have to use the loo! I’m a big boy now- that’s what they say, And getting bigger everyday. I wanted a brother- I should  think twice , What if he turns out not to be nice? The bulk of the attention I ha...

Since I last wrote here I reached 25 years old. I know that in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t really seem that old- I’ve still got the majority of my life to live. But it’s the biggest number I’ve ever had as my age. I think 25 should be the age we define adulthood in the modern world. By 25 the majority of people have completed their education, have some idea where their career is heading some beginnings of a family of their own. Most people have found their place in the world by 25 and I havn’t. I’m not going to go on about that too much today, I’ve discussed the ins and outs of my so called life on this blog before. I felt though like some sort of imposter as I turned 25. How could I claim to be this age when I feel so away from it? I’m ostensibly not much different to how I was when I was 15, only with less acne and more nasal hairs (that’s a thing now apparently). As well as the actual number, the whole idea of a birthday makes me uncomfortable. It’s the one day of t...