The Adventures of Dysfunctional Dan

I find myself edging ever closer to being a fully functioning adult as the wheels are very much in motion to begin the process of owning my own home. It is of course hugely exciting and I keep coming up with ever more reasons why it will be fantastic- the latest being the realisation that I will be able to live in a town that actually has pizza places that will deliver to the door. There's an element of fear to it as well- whilst I know I can look after myself, I lived away from home for four years when I was a student, living with no other human beings in the home is a little daunting.  Before all that though, I've got what is essentially a sea of admin ahead of me. My mortgage offer in principle will be confirmed any day now and so I'm finding myself wading through a seemingly endless online property listings. It turns out looking at houses is complicated and I'm basically having to learn a whole new language. So far I've discovered that the word 'maisonette...

Yesterday was the day I'd been building up to for most of the year, the day I would be walking twenty-six miles around Salisbury and Stonehenge to raise money for Alzheimer's Society. When I signed up back in December I obviously hadn't anticipated that 2020 would be such an odd year and this led to the trek coming at the end of my first week back at work after six months. This had both the advantage of giving me far more time to train than I had anticipated but also the worry that I would be exhausted after adjusting back to work life.  Fortunately, I had a great first week back and the 5AM start felt surprisingly straightforward. After traveling to Salisbury and then getting a shuttle bus to the start (once the driver had gone around most of the city to find it) we were ready to go.  The first eleven miles were easy. We wandered along a long tarmac cycle path and through Salisbury city centre, passing its magnificent cathedral so beloved by members of the KGB. Eventually,...

Whilst I generally consider myself a modern millennial, in some ways I am quite old-fashioned. One such example is that I keep a long-form diary.  I've been doing it for so long that I can't remember why I started. I know that I first experimented with a diary on a holiday to Cornwall when I was ten years old. By that point, my English skills were surprisingly advanced and the week's journey reports on a variety of trips out, all of which were hugely exciting to the ten-year-old me.  I must have decided I liked it because the following year I began a proper, permanent diary. I wasn't particularly disciplined at writing in it for a few years but I wrote every now and then. Initially, it seemed to mostly focus on the minor dramas in my ten and eleven-year-old life, like who my best friend was. As my teenage years began and hormones kicked in it seemed to focus increasingly more on which girl I fancied at any given moment in time and my constant inner battle of whether to ...

Since lockdown began I've got into quite a few podcasts on a variety of subjects. One of these is 'Films to be Buried With', hosted by comedian and actor Brett Goldstein. Every week he has a famous guest who shares their favourite films through a series of questions- it's a bit like 'Desert Island Discs' for film. Now I'm never likely to be famous to be invited on the podcast but I thought I could use the format for a blog post... I'm really sorry to have to tell you this but you died... Oh shit! Typical of it to happen without me noticing.  How did you die? I expect I tripped over something. I probably tripped over a slightly uneven paving slab, fell into the road and was hit by a large lorry. At least it was quick.  Do you worry about death? Do you believe in an afterlife? Well, I'm certainly not comfortable with the concept of dying and I suppose that's because I don't believe in an afterlife. I believe you just stop and that's it.  Fo...

I'm back on the weekly blogging schedule now having taken a few weeks off over the summer.  It feels like a lifetime since I was last at work. I feel guilty that I've ended up having such a long holiday whilst still getting paid when so many people have been working hard dealing with the new challenges of the pandemic or find themselves without income and struggling to find a job. I've had to resign myself to the fact it's not my fault and that I did volunteer to work and did everything I was asked to do, even if it turned out not to be a great deal.  I'm finding myself, perhaps for the first time, keen to return to work. There's only so long you can live without a routine and it's not like this is a summer where you can go and enjoy yourself to the usual extent. Things haven't been open, including cinemas which I've dearly missed, and most activities require booking and taking precautions and generally feel less fun than usual. With far less of the ...

A hundred celebrities and household names have come together to each write a story for a new book called Dear NHS , sharing their stories of our incredible national health service to say thank you in what has been one of the most challenging years in its history. This week I thought I'd write my own Dear NHS letter. Dear NHS,  I've been lucky so far in my life that I haven't needed you to save my life. Although of course, without you I probably wouldn't even be here. The majority of people born in the UK are helped into this world by the NHS and some need more help than others. I was awkward in the womb (not much has changed) and managed to get tangled up in my own umbilical cord- I was clumsy even before I was born. Had the NHS not been there with the right equipment and the right people then my story would have been over so quickly.  Whilst I haven't had much call on the NHS in my lifetime, I recognise the wonders it's made to my family. My younger brother con...

Lockdown has now eased in England and it means we can start to do things in places other than our homes for the first time in a while.  There seem to be two schools of thought towards how we should behave now. Some people seem to assume that the virus has mysteriously vanished and so they can carry on as before, happily wandering around and not even thinking about social distancing. Then there are the people who are scared to go out and are using online shopping unless they absolutely have to go out.  The latter is understandable and I'm certainly closer to that end of the spectrum myself, but I think we can't stop living forever. I've been thinking about this in the same way you do when you write a risk assessment. For example, the risk of crossing a road is that you can be ploughed down by a truck and die instantly. Now the likelihood of this happening is quite low and you can reduce it further by taking precautions, like using marked crossings and looking both ways. It...